Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum
by rainlightautumn
Summary: A collection of various drabbles, mostly centered on Jazz and Prowl, with the occasional medic and seeker trine popping in from time to time. Oh, and Santa Claus. But it's okay--Skywarp knows him. Pop culture references galore.
1. Australia

**A/N: **Well, I suppose that this was needed! I write quite a few ficlets that I can't justify making individual stories, so I'll stick 'em all here! Title for this is from two things: 1) the CD of my favorite band TALLY HALL, who 2) named it after an awesome place in Michigan that is full of coin operated fun machines and toys. Both things are random and fun, which I hope these ficlets will be. :)

Most, if not all, of these are prompts I have been given by other people. Feel free to give me some! I can't guarantee I'll do them or if I do they will turn out like you plan, but hey, why not?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own!

* * *

**Prompt: "And Jazz will see the evil me, not a joke, not a dork, not a failure. And he may cry, but his tears will dry when I hand him the keys to a shiny new Australia." (Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) {559 words}**

Prowl hovered at the door to Jazz's quarters, attempting to decide if coming in or leaving the saboteur in his grief would be a better idea. The other mech must have heard Prowl shift his pedes in indecision and looked up, motioning him to come in. As soon as Prowl took a seat next to him on his berth, Jazz looked down at his entwined hands, his visor glowing dimly. Prowl hesitated, clearly wanting to speak, but not knowing how to start. "I...Jazz, I'm sorry."

Jazz let a small smile come over his faceplates. "Yeah."

Prowl steeled himself. "I know that he meant a lot to you. It is unfathomable to me why one would sever a friendship with another over something so minor."

"Mighta been small change to you an' to me, but I guess not for Blaster," Jazz responded in a low murmur.

Prowl simply hummed noncommittally. Pausing again, Prowl thought of the possible outcomes of giving Jazz what he planned on. Would the saboteur see it as excessive and placating? Would he be insulted? Well, the only way to find out was to give it to him.

"Jazz, I have a gift for you."

Jazz looked up at that, his visor brightened significantly. "Aw, Prowl, ya didn't hafta to do anything--"

"No," Prowl interrupted while reaching into subspace, "I did. And I want you to appreciate this and see it as it is--I'm not attempting to...placate you in any manner."

Jazz's weak smile got a bit stronger. "Prowl, I know you wouldn't do that to me. What's got your servos in a twist?"

Prowl simply held out two large pieces of paper. Jazz took them in hand to read them. As he realized what, exactly, it was that he was holding, Jazz let out an incredulous laugh. "Prowl, you gotta be kiddin' me. A week off and two tickets to Australia?" Jazz looked up at Prowl with wonder writ clearly upon his face. "Who...how...what!"

Pleased with Jazz's positive reaction, Prowl smiled and explained, "Skyfire will take you there, and stay with you for excavation purposes. But otherwise, it's just you and some other lucky mech." As Jazz was still staring at him in wonder and some other emotion that Prowl was having trouble deciphering, Prowl decided to continue speaking before there was an awkward silence. "I know you've always wanted to go to Australia and I discussed it with Prime and he thought it was a great idea, so--"

Prowl was cut off by a tight hug from Jazz. "Thank you," he murmured, "This is the best thing I could get right now." Prowl basked in the physical closeness for a time, not wanting the rare moment where all guards were down to end. However, there was a question niggling at the forefront of his processor, and he didn't think he could handle not knowing.

"Jazz, who are you planning on taking with you?"

Jazz leaned back out of the embrace and looked up at Prowl incredulously. "Well, you, o' course!"

Prowl opened his arms and Jazz took the invitation for what it was, snuggling up close as possible.

"This'll be the best vacation ever," Jazz sang, and Prowl hummed in agreement. And maybe, away from the stresses of the ARK, something else, something that Prowl had been waiting for since as long as he could remember, could occur. It was all a matter of probability, and if all went according to plan, Jazz and he would not return as the separate entities they left as.


	2. 1930's Movies

**Prompt: 1930's Movies {179 words}**

Every week, when able, Jazz and Prowl pick a decade and watch movies from that decade.

The two mechs have learned many lessons through these exercises about humanity and its history--as well as about their fellow Autobots. In the end, it was decided that The Wizard of Oz was never to be watched, thought of, or spoken of again ("Prowler? Prowl, it's all cool, man." "How can a Scarecrow do anything if he has no brain? It...it doesn't make any SENSE.") ; Alice in Wonderland was disturbing and neither 'bot quite wanted to figure out _what_ that film said about humanity ("Was is just me, or does the rabbit guy remind you of Red Alert?" "Jazz...hahehrumph." "Gotcha to laugh, Prowler, can't hide it!"); and any films with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in them will forever be associated with Jazz jumping up and swinging Prowl into an impromptu dance inspired by one they had just watched.

When asked by a curious Bluestreak which film he enjoyed the most this week, Prowl smiles softly and responds, "Shall We Dance."


	3. Please Sir, May I Have Another?

**AN: **So, this drabble is arguably **smutty**. Almost popped my botsmut cherry, lol. XD

Also, special thanks go out to Ameri, Bluebird Soaring, and Hot Rod's Girl for the lovely reviews, as well as the various people who have added this to their favorites or alerts list. Glad yo'ure enjoying, these are fun to write! Got any ideas? Throw 'em my way!

* * *

**Prompt: "Please sir, may I have another?" {123 words} ****  
****  
**

Prowl dropped to his back with his optics off, his intakes working to cool his systems. He hadn't been laying there for more than a half a breem before the weight on his arm shifted so that it was straddling his hips. Prowl onlined his optics to see Jazz's leer and couldn't even protest as the saboteur slid open the panel covering Prowl's interfacing equipment.

"Jazz!" He managed as the mech made connection. The name came out as more a moan than an admonishment.

Jazz chuckled huskily and leaned down to give a drugging kiss to the tactician. As he drew away, he leaned up to Prowl's audio receptors. "Please sir," he murmured, and it made Prowl fairly writhe, "may I have another?"


	4. Identify

**AN: **I was batting zero for this one, and then my friend ithilas (check out her fics, they're **AWESOME**) gave me the idea of the seekers and a certain someone, and that just tickled me pink.

Also, anyone have any ideas about what our two favorite oreobots would disagree on? Throw some ideas at me, because Bluebird Soaring has gotten my gears agoin' in that direction. :D

**  
Prompt:**** 1) There's a vessel sighted straight ahead, sir. 2)Identify. 1) There's a fat guy in my way, sir.**

Patrol was usually boring. Today it was especially so. No stray Autobutts to take random potshots at, no small animals to scare away, and 'Screamer was being particularly...Screamer-like, so no poking at him.

In short, Skywarp was on edge and nothing was there to take him over that edge.

At least, until they gave up on patrolling the usual Autobum haunts and went up into airspace more suited for relaxed flying.

Skywarp's scanners bleeped, indicating upcoming interference. He immediately opened a comm link with the trine. "There's a vessel sighted straight ahead, sir," he intoned dully. Focusing on the "vessel," however, perked Skywarp up significantly. Was that...it _was _a human sled, and eight flying organics....it couldn't be...

Skywarp's night had just gotten a _million times better_.

"Identify," came Starscream's succinct reply.

"Uhhhh..." Sywarp replied intelligently.

_/Warp!/ _

Skywarp giggled into the private comm Thundercracker had just opened._ /Yeah?/_

_/The frag are you doing? You know Starscream is in one of his Moods today. Answer him!/_

_/When ISN'T he in one of his Moods? But, anyways, TC! TC TC TC!/_

Sigh._ /What, 'Warp?/_

_/IT'S SANTA!!/_

_/What!?/_

"IDENTIFY," Starscream repeated, his patience wearing thin.

Skywarp hesitated for a moment, then, ignoring the fervent warnings from Thundercracker, responded, "There's a fat guy in my way, sir." He paused for effect, but it was lost when he started giggling manically. "It's SANTA! I _KNOW HIM_!"

* * *

If anyone can quess the movie reference, you get a drabble. XD


	5. Blurb

DISCLAIMED.

This is just a random blurb that came out when I was thinking too much. I made a few very important changes in the G1 plotline—the _Ark_ crash landed on Earth in pursuit of Megatron's flagship in the year 2015. The Autobots discover that they are not the first Cybertronians to crash on this planet.

I don't know if anything more will actually come of this. Just a blurb. :)

Dedicated to WolvesFire77, who was kind enough to PM me when I was going thought a really rough time in my life. So, thanks!

* * *

Prowl added more speed to his pursuit, his engine working on overdrive. The mech he was chasing was too fast for him. Before the other mech could drive away, he opened a private hailing frequency.

"Autobot hailing unidentified mech."

The Porche's engines revved even more. A response came quickly. "Not this time, Barricade. You ain't getting me that way."

Frustration with the other mech faded slightly at the implications of the other 'bot's statement. "Unidentified mech, what will it take for you to desist?"

"Why don't you gouge _your_ optics out and then we'll talk."

Prowl felt several of his systems jolt. 'Is the mech running blind?' He thought to himself. 'How is that even possible?"

"I'm finished talking with you, Decepticon. You'll never catch me, you never do. 'Fact, you usually give up by now." That obviously gave the unidentified mech pause.

"Because I am _not_ Barricade. Autobot designation Prowl. Requesting designation."

"Requesting you to either give me the verification code, or back the slag off."

Prowl didn't hesitate and rattled off the auth. code proving his alliance with the Autobot cause.

The other mech, coming to a decision of some kind, turned suddenly and transformed midair. Prowl came to a stop and followed suit. When he finished transforming Prowl winced internally at the amount of damage and scarring evident on the other mech. The paint scheme was faded and chipped, plating mismatched from obviously hurried patch jobs, and over his optics was a poorly made, opaque grey visor.

The other mech dropped into a defensive position and, when Prowl made no move, he spoke. "Autobot designation Jazz, saboteur."

Prowl felt shock stiffen his doorwings. Saboteur Jazz had disappeared a while back while on a mission and had been assumed dead. He had recently promoted to Head of Special Operations before his disappearance. He had been the best in special operations--Mirage and Bumblebee had often told stories about him. Prowl had only met the mech once and couldn't recognize him while Jazz was in the state he was.

What was he doing on this planet where the Autobots had crash landed?

"Jazz? I have two special operations members on my team who have talked about your exploits. Mirage and Bumblebee?" Jazz perked up and relaxed his posture a bit.

"'Raj? Bee? What are they doing on Earth?"

"We crash landed here not long ago while in pursuit of a Decepticon ship and are stranded. We were unaware of previous Decepticon presence on this planet until we arrived," he paused. "How long have you been here?"

Jazz responded, "Fifty local solar cycles. I was on an infiltration mission when I crashed along with a large contingent of Decepticons. There's a large amount of natural energy on this planet, and they've been attempting to harvest it and somehow get contact out to Megatron. However, technology here's still primitive and the landing in this atmosphere is rough, and they've been unsuccessful so far." He stopped here and a small, hopeful smile curved his mouth. It transformed his face into something that could be beautiful if it wasn't so tired and dented. "Does that mean there are more of you here?"

Prowl nodded and then realized he was nodding at a blind mech. "Affirmative." Jazz cycled air through his outtake vents.

"Well, that's a relief. I didn't know how much longer I was gonna be able to go by myself." Jazz shook his head and lightly touched his visor. "I have information for your commanding officer. Would it be possible for you to take me to him?"

"Yes, our ship is not far from here. I was actually on my way back when you appeared on my scanners." Prowl transformed and waited for Jazz to follow suit. When he did, Prowl began leading him towards the _Ark_'s landing site.

"_So," _Jazz asked, _"Mind telling me about your ship?"_

"_Certainly. We have a full staff," _Prowl thought about the scan he had run on Jazz during his pursuit, _"including a medic by the name of Ratchet."_

"_The old Hatchet?" _Jazz responded, delight clear in his voice. _"Man, he'll beat the slag outta me when he sees how I look."_

"_I see you are familiar with our CMO," _Prowl responded dryly. Jazz chuckled.

"_You could say that. Who's the CO?" _He asked.

"The_ Commanding Officer," _Prowl replied.

Jazz was silent for a few moments, and then, _"Are you meaning to imply that your commanding officer is _the _commanding officer?"_

"_That is what I am meaning to imply." _

"…_You have _Prime_ with you?"_

Prowl tried not to be amused at the incredulous hope contained in Jazz's words. _"Yes."_

Jazz let out a whoop and sped up significantly. _"Why didn't you say that before? Ole Optimus better brace himself. Jazz is coming home!"_

The mech hummed delightedly the whole way to the _Ark_, and Prowl couldn't find it in his spark to complain.


End file.
